• Conspiracy Wednesday
  • Posted on 11 Jun by Lotherton Institute of Environmental Studies · ·
  • OK, so everyone knows there is alien shit going on all over this planet. Things are never as they're supposed to be, am I right?! There's always another story behind every event, no one ever really knows what's going on, in this world of Arnold Schwarzenegger Governors and George Dubya Bushes.

    So this is going to be a place where we can expose the scum-bags who try to pretend to us that everything is whoopdedoo, and we're going to start with the scum-bags who make microwaves.



    I'm telling you right, everyone thinks these things are totally harmless, have you never stopped and thought that this crazy machine is heating up your food in like 2 seconds when there's no actual heat?! Yeah, something here is up.

    We're not the only ones who have investigated this stuff, we looked on the web and people had some crazy stories of these machines bringing hamsters back to life and all sorts, that's not right.

    So here's our experiment, it's basic enough, so I hope you brainwashed fools can follow right?! All experiments need a constant - in case you missed that, a constant is something that is constant throughout the experiment, right?!

    So in this case our constant was 500ml of water, pure water, from a bottle so that nothing in the tap could contaminate that shit and make our experiment go to waste.



    So we prepared two separate jugs of 500ml water, both from the same brand of water maker. We shoved one of these in the microwave we bought from a supermarket for £30, thinking that this is the one most people probably have, and these are the people who will need to be warned about the risk they're taking everytime they heat their £1 instant lasagna. Anyway, we heated one of the waters up for 2 minutes, until boiling.



    We then left both of them to cool in the fridge overnight. The next day we bought two identical plants from a supermarket, both perfectly healthy, no bugs or anything.

    From this day on we fed one of the plants with the microwaved water, and one with the normal water, for seven days. And listen right, I don't even want to explain what happened, we took some pictures so see for yourself. Just think, that is my body, dying, like that plant, every time I microwave my £1 lasagna.



    This report is approved by the Lotherton Institute of Environmental Studies.
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